How To Deal With
Stress—Whose Probelm Is It?
One of the keys to learning how deal with
stress is to not waste time chasing your tail, or anyone else's for that matter!

Very often, precious time and energy are squandered in a useless quest to find out who said
what, who did what, when, where, why? It can be like entering a black hole to chase shadows.
You can learn how to deal with
stress
Sometimes it is important to know the details, but in our personal relations, more often than
not, it is a waste of emotional energy to continue the investigation. Knowing how to deal with stress will make your life much easier.
How to deal with family stress
Very often mercy triumphs over a judgment of guilt, even when the other person is at fault.
An act of kindness can soften the hardest heart. Others can tell when you are peaceful inside, this
is one of the benefits of learning how to deal with stress.
Overlooking a fault, and keeping the bigger picture in mind keeps us from bogging down in all
the minute details of here and now. This is especially useful when working with children and
youth.
In this way we can prevent becoming mired down in other people's problems. Obviously, if we
could find the source of the problem, most of the details would take care of themselves. In the
case of the cranky boss, or the child with the messy room, it is important to differentiate between
their problem and my problem.
If I am weak minded and allow myself to be drawn into the gravitational pull of their nasty
behavior, then their problem has just become my problem. Yet, if I have learned to work on my own
reaction instead, I don't get sucked in and am able to remain poised and balanced.
Learn to manage stress
Have you ever noticed how people tend to mimic the attitudes and even the tone of voice of those
people they admire? This is common among young people: certain friends come along and soon they are
all talking in the same tone and inflections.
It's the same way with taking on other people's bad conduct They speak in a whining tone of
voice and we find ourselves whining back. Maybe they yell, so we yell back. Now their problem has
become my problem. This is certainly not how to deal with
stress.
If we can be awake to what is going on, we can refuse to be sucked into the gravitational pull
of whining or yelling. Instead, we remain poised and balanced. We speak in an appropriate tone of
voice and use words that fit the situation.
It is amazing how often we fail to see what we are doing. Once we gain experience in remaining
centered, it is much easier to notice when we lose our self-control.
Just imagine how many arguments and fights could be avoided by understanding this secret! The
atmosphere at home or work can usually be made so much more pleasant and cheerful when people know
how to use this secret.
Effective parenting
It is an entirely different matter to be a loving friend who is able to share the burden of
others. Few things build confidence like seeing somebody who doesn't get rattled in the "heat of
the battle." Those who have learned how to deal with stress are people you can count on.
As you personally grow and develop in your ability to bear stressful
situations, you will find yourself able to help other people. Your example will give hope to others
who are going through similarly tough times. You will be glad you learned how to deal with
stress.
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